Bleeding Love
by Aliecia
Summary: Benson is ready to leave give up on every thing! Elliot takes to leap! Can love save her our is it really bleeding love?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Quit

Chapter 1: Quit

_**Read and please let me know what you think... Now here we go...**_

"I quit!" Olivia screamed at her partner for nine years Elliot Stabler.

"Go ahead quit!" Elliot responded with equal furry. Heads in the precinct started to turn as the voices rose.

"Maybe if you were doing you job, that kid would be alive now. So go ahead quit!" Olivia turned big brown eyes filled with anger aimed at him.

"I hate you! I hate you I wish I never met!" she yelled and stormed out of the precinct. But she knew one thing Elliot was right! If she was doing her job that little girl would still be alive.

Elliot sat at his desk looking at the picture of the little girl, so innocent, dead. Not for the life of him could he understand why, or even how Olivia managed to lose the perp. He knew the words he said to her were harsh, but he couldn't help himself. She had that effect on him, always getting beneath his skin.

"Stabler, my office now." Cragen yelled as he walked in. Rolling eyes Elliot got and followed the Captain to his office and closed the door behind them.

"Want to tell me why Olivia handed in her resignation?" he asked, knowing that somehow Elliot contributed to the fact that she was leaving.

"What?" he knew she said she was quitting but he didn't actually believe that she would leave the unit. She just couldn't. He thought slowly getting out of his seat.

"She emailed it to me last night."

"Captain don't file it yet, I need to talk with her." Elliot said and ran out Cragen's office.

The drive to her apartment seemed long and the miles seemed to go on forever, finally he pulled into a parking lot beside her building. What am I going to say? He thought as he rang the buzzer.

"Go away I don't want to talk to you." Olivia said standing behind the door.

"But I want to talk to you." he said calmly resting his head against the door. Slowly she door and he strode in like he was invited.

"Liv-"

"No Elliot, I can't do this any more. We don't win anymore, Casey and Lake are gone, you and I we fight all the time I can't do it any more." she said softly sitting on the handle of the couch.

"But Liv, I don't want you to quit." he said honestly. Knowing he couldn't live without seeing her everyday.

"Elliot I can't not anymore. I need to build my own life."

"But you have a life dammit! You're my partner and you said you would be my partner for live!" he said with conviction he needed her to stay, he couldn't, wouldn't let her go.

"I'm burnt out Elliot, this job... I just can't do it any more."

"Why not?"

_**Okay so let me know what you think.**_


	2. Why Not?

Thanks for the reviews, please keep them coming

_Thanks for the reviews, please keep them coming!_

_Here we go... _

**Chapter 2: Why Not?**

Why not? The question hung the air between the two detectives, knowing somehow that their future seemed to depend on it.

The telephone rang and Olivia answered breaking the deadly silence that was squeezing the life from her. "Benson"

"Listen, I honestly don't want you to leave, just take a month and if you still feel the same way then we call it quits." Cragen said.

"Ok, that's a good idea." she replied placing the receiver once more on its cradle.

"Are you going to answer my question?" he asked when she still hadn't responded.

"Elliot, it's just complicated." she said, getting up she placed some distance between them.

"Liv running away won't let it go away you." he said behind her breathing down her neck. She jumped, and sensations soared through her body.

"What are you talking about?" she asked more than a little confused, her thoughts jumbled as he placed large hands on her shoulder and the heat radiated through her body causing the core of her woman-hood to ache with wanting!

Moving fast she placed more distance between, the closeness was her undoing.

"That" Elliot said as she walked over to the opposite counter. "Liv it's not going any-where, it's been there for years and it will never change." Elliot said closing the gap between pinning her against the counter. Olivia was trapped between hard pronounce muscle and those blue eyes.

Olivia swallowed hard. Finding her voice was trouble, and her breath started coming short gasp as her breast pressed against his muscled chest. "Olivia relax," he said softly and moved the hair from her eyes.

"El, no, I-" Every part of came alive as he pressed against and the temptation was strong to just throw his arms neck and place her lips to the spot where his pulse throbbed beneath his skin! The cologne he wore was drugging her as she placed her head to his chest and inhaled. Black Diamond, she'd bought it for him there first Christmas and he fell in love with.

"Come back Liv." he said into her hair and it vibrated through her skull sending new sensation cursing through her entire being.

"I can't"

"Why not?"

"Because of this El, because of this"

"Because of what?! This?" he asked his temper raising as he pulled her back and crushed his lips to hers it was punishment, for wanting to leave, yet it was all the things he couldn't say.

_What do you think?_


	3. Can I kiss you?

Chapter 3: Can I kiss you

**Chapter 3: Can I kiss you**

/b

_I'm glad you all like the story, thanks for the reviews!  
_  
Olivia had been kissed before but never like this. As her hands moved of her accord and laced her hands around his neck. Elliot pulled back his eyes filled with desire, "Liv, can I kiss you? his voice husky with an unknown emotion. Olivia eyes met his once more and she didn't need to answer everything was written in her face, and once more he took her lips cupping her face with such gentleness she could cry. The kiss was sweet as he took her lips softly and massaged them with his tongue. A soft moan escaped her lips and she clung to him, Olivia parted her lips and accepted him into her mouth, his tongue stroked hers and heat pooled between her legs and she wondered how long it would be before she really ran into danger. But it never came! He kissed her so gently she felt no need to object he moved so slow, she couldn't readily pull back instead she leaned further into him. Elliot lips found the sweet place of neck and feast there! Olivia never knew her body was so sensitive, as another moaned escaped her lips and her hands roamed the muscles above his shirt, but it wasn't enough she needed to feel those strong muscles beneath her finger-tips. Olivia was gasping for breath as Elliot ran his tongue from her neck to her earlobe sweet sensations shattered through her. "Liv, is this what you're running from?" Elliot asked kissing her earlobe.  
"El" she breathed and her hands stilled as he pulled back completely to look her in the eyes.  
"Liv, this isn't going anywhere." Elliot said his hands finding their way beneath her shirt to run over her slender frame. Olivia shivered and his lips found hers again.  
The button of her shirt came free but dear Father she didn't care! She was way beyond caring, she only cared that he didn't stop. Their lips feasted with each other and Elliot hands found her breast. "El!" Olivia exclaimed. And he responded by unfastening her lacy bra now her she was in her kitchen partially naked with her partner and it felt so right!  
"Liv, we can't stay here." Elliot said as his lips found the sensitive part of her nipples she arched into him.  
Olivia closed her eyes for fear that she might pass out if she didn't. She felt like she was flying. Olivia felt her self being lowered onto something soft. Her eyes fluttered open and she was in her bedroom with equally naked Elliot, but she didn't mind.  
"Liv, is this alright?" he asked his voice laced with unspoken desire and a thick emotion she could place at the moment. "If you want me to stop I will." he said pinning her down with those eyes.  
"I think you might die if you stop." Olivia said honestly. He smiled and her being melted into a puddle.  
"I love you Liv," Elliot said but she cut him off her lips finding his and the words spoken forgotten!


	4. Unspoken Words

Chapter 4: Unspoken Words

Chapter 4: Unspoken Words

Elliot awoke to the sound of his cell phone ringing. Groaning he asked the phone. "Stabler... ok... be there in ten" Elliiot said to Cragen. His voice vibrated through Olivia who was slowly coming awake. "Morning" Elliot said with a smile as he got off the bed and found his discarded clothes.  
"where are you going?" she asked huskily as he wrapped him self in her robe and walked to the bathroom. "Stabler I've seen you naked already" Olivia said with a laugh. Elliot smiled down at her, his breath smelled of her mouth wash.  
Mint.  
"You are a tease you know lady." Elliot said dropping a quick kiss to her lips.  
"Am I?" she asked. sending him a knowing wink.  
"Benson I have work." Elliot groaned taking her lips fully and letting her go in the next instant.  
"Can you spend some time with a girl after work?" she asked running her tongue over her lips.  
"For you anything." he said at the door.

The drive was lonely he missed Olivia already, yet it bugged him, she didn't share his sentiments. A sigh escaped his lips 'she doesn't love me' he thought as he drove into the parking lot. Parking the car he quickly composed himself. Though, he couldn't quite move the dull ache in his heart.

Olivia was on cloud nine to her the world was perfect till she received a message from her brother Simon.  
_"Hey Sis, Lucy is going in tomorrow what time should I pick you up?"  
_"Crap" she exclaimed in her apartment. She had forgotten that she had promise her younger brother she would be there when her niece was born. Running to the phone Olivia quickly called the airline to book a flight to Florida. Hurrying she threw some clothes into a small pulley. Picking up she replied.  
_"My flight lands 8:00 pm. Love you.  
-Liv"_ Throwing the phone on the bed she headed to the bathroom for a shower.

Elliot stood at the door knocking and when no answer was forth coming he used the key to enter while taking care not to damage the rose. "Liv?" Elliot called from the living room, smiling as he heard her singing and the running of the shower. Walking boldly into her room he sat in her room and noticed her bag was packed. A frown creased his brow but soon faded as she stood in the doorway wrapped in a towel.  
Olivia let out a frightened gasp, but soon relaxed when she saw Elliot lying on her bed with a rose in his mouth. A smile formed at the corners of her mouth as Elliot greeted her with a kiss. "Hmmm" Olivia responded to the kiss. Pulling back she reached for the hair dyer and started to blow her hair.  
"El, what's with your phone?" Olivia asked. Pulling her hair into a ponytail.  
"Nothing, the battery is dead though" he joked  
"Smart-ass. Anyway I'm going away for a few days. Lucy is about to pop"  
"Oh" was all he said a little disappointed he wasn't going to spend the evening with her.  
Getting up she waked to the bathroom to apply make-up when her phone chime. Picking up the phone Elliot was taking it towards her when an open message caught his attention.  
_**"My flight lands at 8:00. Love you -Liv"**_ Elliot froze and when the new message popped up he couldn't help but read it.  
_  
__**"I can't wait to see you, I have missed you: Sender SAM.**_

_**Guys read and review I want to know what you think! And thanks to those of you who stopped and reviewed.**_


	5. The End

The contact was sweet, Olivia wanted to give in but she couldn't not with this man

Chapter 5: The End…

Elliot was angry, hurt but most of all he felt betrayed!  
"El, what's wrong?" Olivia asked as she saw his face white as though he'd seen a ghost. Elliot cleared his throat backing away from her as if she might hurt him physically.  
"Um... Um Capt'n called I got to go" he stammered heading for the door with such a speed he almost knocked her over.  
"El!?" It was a scream and a question she didn't understand what was happening.  
"Have a great trip... And I'll see you when you get back," Elliot paused not knowing what to say he wanted to ask her about it, yet he had no right, and that hurt him most more than anything else that she didn't love him. "Be good" he said as she stood before him and tears misted his eyes turning them to a darker shade of blue. She pressed her head to his chest and hugged like she done so many times before and like those times he dropped a kiss to the center of her forehead. But this kiss was different is was a good-bye kiss he knew it deep down.  
"I'll miss you" Olivia whispered in his chest and he wanted to melt. He wanted to know but yet he couldn't bring himself to see those big brown eyes go weepy the way they did when she was at fault. This was the way it should end with a smile on her lips. Yes he knew it this was the end.  
"I will" she replied stepping back and picking up her case. "Please tell Capt'n that I'll be away for a while." she said as they walked to the elevator in her building.  
"Yea" was all he could muster above the turmoil in his heart and mind. And as she walked away from him he whispered I love you in the empty car and tears running down his face. No had ever hurt him this much or would again.

The flight was long and Olivia was tired clutching her bags she walked as fast as she could through the terminal. Looking she saw no sign of her brother aggravated all at once she turned on her cell and sat on one of the chairs. No message nothing. Olivia rubbed her sleepy eyes and stifled a groan. A man sat down beside her fuming. "Where the hell is she?" the man grumbled and Olivia smiled he was voicing her exact thought. Olivia's cell phone vibrated and she flipped it open to see one voice message received. "Hey Sis. Lucy went in early I sent her Cousin Jack to pick you up. Love Simon"  
Olivia groaned again and dial her brother's number. "Liv. Oh my God could you hurry up I'm shitting scared" he screamed into her ears.  
"Slow down I don't see Jack or whatever his name is, how do I get there?" she asked feeling sorry for her brother, yet can't help the smile spreading across her face.  
"Excuse me" Olivia heard the man beside her say.  
"Simon hold on" Olivia instructed and covered the mouth piece  
"Are you Olivia Benson?" the man asked.  
"Jack?" Olivia replied  
"Yes Simon asked me to pick you up" Olivia smiled and spoke back to Simon  
"SAM I'm on my way" she said closing the phone.

"Simon!" Olivia screamed as she entered the maternity ward.  
"Liv!" she heard him reply. Turning around she saw her brother's worried face.  
They ran to each other and feeling of home engulfing she left like this was home there in her brother's. "Liv, they had to cut her" he said against his sister's shoulder.  
"Simon I'm so sorry" she said holding hugging him tighter.  
"Liv... I'm scared" he confessed pulling away as they walked down to the OR.  
They watched intently as they cut the umbilical cord, Simon's eyes were filled with tears as the cries of the baby his baby. The door opened and a doctor walked out Mr. Moriston, would you like to see your baby girl. Simon couldn't answer he just nodded about the lump in his throat. Simon let go of Olivia had and walked in to hold his bundle of joy.

_**Okay so what do you think?**_

_**I really hope you like it.**_

_**Let me know what you think.**_

_**Thanks for the reviews**_

_**Ali**_


	6. Bleeding Love

"What should we name her?" Lucy asked as they gathered around her bedside.  
"I don't know I just want something cute and something she won't sue me for when she gets older" Simon said rocking the newborn back and forth.  
"How about Mariska?" Lucy asked  
"Hmm, that pretty hard to call" Simon said smiling down at his beautiful fiancé. "Okay let Mar-is-ka Olivia Moriston?" Simon asked looking over to his sister how was quietly admiring her niece.  
"Yea I like that Mariska Olivia Moriston" Lucy said with a stifled yawn.  
"Hun you need to get some sleep" Simon said placing the baby in his Aunt's arms for the first time.  
"I love you" she said and closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.  
In the corner Olivia's eyes was misted with tears as she held her niece she knew she would protect her with every fiber of her being.

Olivia was all smiles and she wanted to tell someone about her beautiful niece digging into her pockets she retrieved her cell phone and dialed Elliot's cell number.

Elliot watched the phone ring apart of him wanted to answer yet apart of him feared that she would be happy. "Stabler" Elliot heard his captain's voice cut through his thoughts.  
"How is everything with Olivia?" he asked standing over Elliot.  
"Thing are okay Sir, but I think maybe we should have different partners" Elliot said looking at the phone.  
Cragen frowned then sighed. "Okay, I think I can do that" Cragen said and walked off with a sigh.  
Elliot felt some thing in his tear to pieces as Cragen walked off to seal his faith.

Three Days later

Olivia still hadn't gotten in touch with Elliot nor any one from the precinct and there was a feeling in the pit of her stomach that something wasn't right!  
"Liv honey is everything alright?" Lucy asked showing off her wedding ring.  
"I don't know it feels like something is wrong and the last time I got this feeling my partner's head was smashed through a window.  
"Your partner or your lover?" Lucy teased as she picked the softness in her sister-in-laws voice as she spoke of her 'partner'.  
"well do what I do when I get that feeling listen to some music" Lucy offered getting up she turned the living room stereo on, and the tune of Leona Lewis hit song 'Bleeding Love' flooded the room.

"Aw, you guys are gonna kill me with this type of music" Simon said while pulling the love of his life into a warm embrace and kissing the top of her head.  
Slowly Olivia walked out the room and found her way in the nursery to stare at her beautiful niece who was fast asleep.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
"Elliot Stabler?" A soft voice was asking, turning Elliot saw a tall woman with long black hair and smoky grey eyes.  
"Yes" Elliot replied watching the lady curiously.  
"Hi, I'm Nicollet Panther your captain said I would find you here, I'm your new partner" She said and extended her arm. Elliot shook her hand and was surprised by how soft her hands were.

"Okay so our suspect is a fifty one year old Caucasian male who lives in the suburb and enjoy kiddy porn and smashing in kid's heads" Elliot said as he and Nicollet walk around the crime scene.  
"Damn!" Nicollet exclaimed as she saw the blood splattered on the wall.  
"Yea this is a sick world we are in" Elliot said as he scanned the room again. Nicollet gave him a smile and he returned it shyly.  
"I guess that's it for today, want to grab a cup of coffee?" Elliot offered and opened the door and out the door they went.  
"Sure"  
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
The smell of coffee was drugging and all she wanted to do was pour herself a cup and sit down with her niece, taking out the phone Olivia dialed Elliot, sighing she remove the phone form her ears wshen she heard him pick up.  
"Hey Olivia, I can't talk now" Olivia stared blankly at the phone and toyed with her niece little hand.  
"Sis, you okay?" Simon asked from the doorway. Turning Olivia flashed him smile and looked back at the baby.  
The next couple days flew by and soon Olivia was packing to go home with a heavy heart.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
"Elliot when's Liv coming back?" Cragen asked reading a file.  
"I'm not sure, why?" Elliot asked pouring himself a cup of coffee.  
"Nothing I just-"  
"Hey Elliot I think I got something" Nicollet said picking up the case file and walking over to where Elliot was standing sipping his coffee.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  
"Olivia," Lucy said holding her hands "I hope you come back to visit soon" she said and gave her a embrace.  
"I won't stay away, I want Mari to know me plus I like spending time with you guys" Olivia said with a wide smile.  
"Will you just go! Cause if Mari wakes you can't leave" Simon teased


	7. Coming Home

A hopeful smile was on Olivia's face as she collected her bags, and walked out to hail a cab. Olivia stepped out of the cab and entered her apartment. It was good to be home, she thought placing her bags on the floor and walked to the phone. Elliot cell phone rang without answer; sighing Olivia placed the receiver down and walked into the bathroom with the smile now gone from her lips.

Elliot felt the pressure of nails in his arm and a high pitched scream. Grabbing Nicolett he pulled her up. "Damn what is that?" Nicolett demanded when she was safely on her feet. Elliot let out a loud laugh then answered.  
"That my dear is sewage water"  
"Gross!" she exclaimed kicking her leg that had fallen into the ditch.  
"My place is two blocks from her I can offer you a shower and a pair of my daughter sneaks" Elliot said holding her arm.  
"Okay, I just want this stuff off me." Nicolett agreed as they turned to go to Elliot apartment.

"Hey John, is Elliot there?" Olivia asked as he picked up the phone.  
"No, he just called saying he was going home"  
"Okay thanks John" Olivia replied ending the call.  
Olivia took her time to dress, mini skirt and alter back top was her choice with light makeup.

Olivia couldn't stop her heart from racing, as she knocked the door, and it finally swung open and there stood a woman in a bath towel with wet hair. "Um…is-"  
"Nicky who is it?" Olivia heard the familiar voice cut through the air.  
"Um… I have the wrong-" the door opened wider and there he was shirt less, and as his eyes met hers.  
"Liv!" Elliot exclaimed  
Olivia turned and was walking away when she felt steel grip fingers on her arm. "Liv, I can explain." He began as he saw the pained the look that crossed her face. His heart skipped a beat as her eyes asked the questions. Then he remember, she had know right, she was a heart-breaker.  
"El, what's going on?"  
"Don't you see," his voice was harsh and cold as he looked down at her through new eyes.  
"But why, I thought you loved me?" she asked her eyes misted with tears that were threatening to fall and in the next instant it was all gone.  
"Come on did you really believe that? It just something people say after great sex" he replied with a throaty laugh.

He felt his face burn and his groan hurt. She slapped him across the face and kneed him in the groan. "Ouch!"

_**Okay so what do you think?**_


	8. Dear Elliot

Olivia sat down and looked at the stack of letter before her, then at her packed bags and slowly she picked up the pen and note pad and wrote the last letter.

_Dear Elliot,  
You were my bestfriend, my confidant and my partner. It's really funny I never thought our partner ship would have ended this way. I actually thought it would last untill we were too old to work anymore. Though I never told you before I love you, I really do and I will not pretend that the things you said to me were hurtful they cut me so deep that I find it impossible to breathe. You were the greatest friend one could wish and also the best lover I ever knew. I do hope that the young lady treats you exceptionally well and may all you dreams come true though mine are dead. I wanted to love you the way no one else could, I wanted you to be the father of my children. But I guess it wasn't meant to be and nothing last forever though I thought we would after nine years.  
Wow you were right you are the longest relationship I had with a man. Not even my brother SAM and I haven't known each other that long. Well I'm writting to say good bye sorry I slapped you.  
Good Bye Elliot I loved you, my heart and love will be with you always.  
-Liv_

Olivia placed it with the rest and then walked to the mailbox and placed them in was picking up her cases when the phone rang she wanted to walk away but she couldn't dropping her bags she picked up the phone.  
"Hello"  
"Liv thank God, I know you aren't on duty but I need you could you please come to the station?" Cragen spoke swiftly.  
Olivia looked at her watch, her plane was leaving in the next four hours so she could.  
"OKay Cap'n but I only have three hours" Olivia said placing the reciever down.

The detectives were moving around and Olivia knew that it was a big case "Liv thank God you're here" Cragen said spoting her as she walked in.  
"What's going on?" Olivia asked moving towards Cragen.  
Cragen handed her a picture of the suspect. "That is Harison he's fifty one and into kiddy porn and he kidnapped a girl about two day ago but he disappear and we are running out of time he normally kills his victims on the third day" Cragen said briefing Olivia.  
Oliviva took the file and the photo from Cragen and walked to her desk. "Harison" she whispered and suddenly her first case came rushing back the three day killer she had called him.  
"Cragen!" Olivia shouted jogging over to where Cragen was. This is the three day killer! Rremember the man who lived in the woods and snached kids between the ages of 6 and 8 and writes the name of his victim on the walls" Olivia spoke frantically now walking over to the filing room with all the unsoloved cases. Olivia pulled it out and there was the drawing.  
"So do you think he's gone back to the woods?" Cragen asked suddenly remember the case. It had kept him up for weeks.  
"Has to" Olivia said  
Cragen pick up the phone and called Elliot.  
"I want you and Elliot to go down there" at the sound of his name her heart did a sommersault.  
"I can't I have plans" Olivia said handing him the case.  
"Liv you know this man please, I can't lose another little girl" Cragen was pleading and she knew she could turn him down her flight was leaving in the next 3hrs amd 15 min.  
"Okay" Olivia said taking the case from his hands again.  
Elliot walked in and there she was the woman who opened the door on his heels. Olivia swallowed and she could hear her mother's harsh words _'No man will ever want you, they only want sex Via, you're not pretty enough' _and as she watched the waman walk in with Elliot she knew she was the very definition of beauty!


	9. DNR

Olivia drew in a deep breath as she walked towards them. "It's time" she told herself quitely as she stood at his desk waiting to be acknowledged, when Cragen walked over. "Oh Olivia have you met Detective Panther?" Cragen asked, Elliot went scarlet red as he waited for Olivia response knowing that her answer could very much break him.  
"No I don't believe we've met. I'm Detective Benson Elliot ex" Elliot thought that somehow today was going to kill him from from the moment he walked in. Elliot finally began to breathe normally when they were outside headed for the car to make it up to the woods.  
The tension was high and very thick as they drove in silence.  
Twenty minutes into the drive Nicollet spoke breaking the deafening silence which was squeezing the life out of them all. "Um Elliot I have to go" she said as spotted a gas station on the left.  
"Okay" was the only word he said as he pulled over. He hadn't known that the tension in the car could be worse but now with only Olivia it was driving him literally crazy, he wanted to say something, he wanted her to know it was just a lie, to say he was sorry.  
"Liv."  
"I don't want to hear it" OLivia replied with such comtempt in her voice he could feel it slicing the air. But he deserved it and he knew it.  
"Thanks Guys" Nicollet said as she settled in beside Elliot. The rest of the drive was in silence.  
Elliot was in command as they came to a halt and they got out with guns in hand.  
"Liv you take front, Nicollet you go round back and I'll go round back" Elliot said and they slipt up.  
But happened next changed everything!

Somehow stepping in that house was like stepping back into the basement with Harris. Fear engulfed as she checked the rooms and found nothing.  
Elliot searched the outside room and found nothing, or so he thought.  
Like the other Nicolett search turned up nothing.  
Olivia and Nicolett walked to the back of the cabin to find Elliot to report to him, seeing Nicolett was like a sharp object being forcefully stabbed into her heart over and over again!  
"You take the left I'll take the right Olivia instructed as they entered the outside room where Elliot was.  
"I got nothing" Elliot reported turning his back and walking towards them. Olivia noticed a shimmer dancing on the wall facing the door. Following the light Olivia saw him, and her the victim but that wasn't all she saw. "Elliot get down!" Olivia screamed and without thinking on pure impulse she ran to him.  
Elliot felt the forceful impact knock him to the ground and saw Nicolett aim and fire!  
Olivia felt the pain engulf her! Elliot knew something hit him but he didn't know what, until he tried to move.  
"Liv! Olivia!" he screamed as the reality of the situation dawned on him. Blood was coming out of her mouth and she was coughing.  
"Liv," he said gently touching her.  
A smile of some sort formed at her lips and she mumbled something he couldn't understand. "I need an ambulance!" he shouted to Nicolett who was standing over a dead man and a terrified child.  
"Liv honey stay with me" Elliot begged as he cradled her into his arm his environment disappearing the only thing and person he saw was her. "Liv why did you do that?" he demanded when she opened her eyes.  
"I'm sorry" she managed and her heavy eyelids closed turning everything black!  
"Liv! Olivia stay with me!" Elliot screamed when she didn't respond and he looked up to see Nicolott looking at her with teary eyes.  
"The ambulance will be here in fifteen minutes" she informed  
"Fifteen Minutes! She can't wait fifteen minutes!" He screamed scoping up the lifeless body into his hands.  
"Elliot you aren't supposed to move her" Nicolett said blocking his path.  
"And who is going to stop me?" he asked looking into Olivia face he watched her chest heave then she opened her eyes one last time and said  
"EL"  
"Move!" yelled at Nicolett and with out another word she cleared the pathway.  
Elliot couldn't remember the last time he drove this fast! And finally he saw the ambulance and signaled them to stop.  
"What do we have?" A man asked him as they layed Olivia on the small bed in the ambulance.  
"She was shot" was all Elliot could say, he didn't know where he didn't know anything except Olivia wasn't moving his heart was beating so fast he could barely hear what was going on around him. He didn't know when they got to the hospital all he knew was that he was following the men who were carrying her away.  
The people in a glass room took her and tried to bar him but he kept pushing to get inside, they where moving so fast it made him dizzy, he watched them, he heard them.  
"Stop!" A man should as they were about to resuscitate.  
What?" another yelled.  
"She's DNR"


	10. White Walls

**_AN: Let me warn you when I typed this chapter I was watching Sci-fi, hence my cool-crazy idea lol I hope you enjoy, I hope it isn't too far-fetched. lol _**

**_-Ali_**

Everything was happening so fast! The nurses were walking out and a man was shoving him out of the room. He looked at her she was lifeless he knew there was no point in asking he knew from the way she said she was sorry he knew she was dead! And then it struck him what was she apologizing for?  
A man came to the door and handed him a cell phone "it was in her coat pocket" he said and gave Elliot the vibrating phone. Elliot didn't quite know what to do with it so he just stared at it. Elliot heard uproar and turned around to see his coworkers. "Elliot what happened?" Cragen asked coming to stand in front of him.  
"I don't know Cap'n one minute she's alive the next she's lying breathless in my arms!" Elliot said and a lone tear leaked from his eye.  
Cragen looked at Elliot he was speechless.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Olivia felt content! The room was big and white it was peaceful. She looked around and all she could see was white walls. Olivia gasped when she turned around to see a man dress in a white suit standing by a big white door and a shimmering line was gleaming before him. "hello" Olivia said and she as surprised to find out she wasn't nervous there was something familiar about the man she just couldn't say what it was. "Who are you? Olivia asked, she knew it wasn't polite but she had to know.  
"I am your guardian, I came to take you home" the man said and smiled "but only if you are ready" he said  
"Where am I?" Olivia asked now curious about her peaceful surrounding.  
"You are my dear hovering between life and death." the man said half expecting her to say it was all a lie but she remember the gunshot and she remembered him scolding her, she also remember walking in unannounced.  
"You look familiar' Olivia said putting an end to the thought even though she was half dead the memories still hurt like hell.  
"I am the man you've searched your whole for and never found the man you hate with ever thing within you. I am you father." he let what he was telling her sink in and watched her eyes go huge and he watched as tears formed in the big brown eyes.  
"You...I remember you, you were the kind stranger who gave me a ride and brought me to that law student that night when mom and I fought!' Olivia said stepping back. She thought she was in a dream but it was becoming nightmare and any time soon she knew that face would turn in one of death!  
"Yes, I was always there Olivia, always in the background I was even at you high school graduation, and your soccer game and even when you graduated from the academy with first class honor I was there, you just never same me"  
But why, what kind of sick sonovabitch are you... you... you raped my mother then you stalk me what did we even do to you?"Olivia asked confused furious hurt her emotions were in a rage and she didn't know what to do.  
"I raped you mother yes, but not because I wanted to it was that or murder her and I chose to rape her, because she was drunk and probably would forget what happened-"  
"No woman can forget rape!" Olivia yelled  
"I know and no rapist can forget the scream and the pleas of his victim. I was undercover, I infiltrated a mob and it was initiation time, I wished I never had to do that to her but I had to or I would end up dead and ever thing that I had worked so hard for seven months would have been a waste. Yes I raped her and since then I haven't been the same, I came to get her help but I didn't have the balls, and then I found out she was pregnant and I wanted to die. I quit the force and then I disappeared I came to look for you again I'm sorry my wife was understanding but in the end I couldn't deal with it." the man explained. Olivia eyes were filled with tears and she walked towards him.  
"So you aren't a rapist, my genes aren't all bad?" Olivia asked.  
"No"  
"Dad" Olivia said for the first in her life and she wasn't even alive!  
"So do you want to come with me or do you want you to go back to them?" he asked and instantly a window appear and she saw them Simon, Elliot, Cragen, Fin, Munch, Nicolett and her sister in law and even her gorgeous niece.  
"Why are they crying?" Olivia asked stupidly as she watched the people she loved and cared for looking so broken.  
"You are dying and they can't stop it, remember you signed the DNR so the doctor can't do anything it all up to you baby girl."  
"Baby girl not every thing is as bad as it seems."  
"So can I go back?" Olivia asked her eyes brimming with fresh tears as she watched the group mourn for her.  
"Yes but it won't be easy, and never forget I have always and will always love youuu" The light was blinding and everything was spinning so fast she could do nothing to stop it!

**_So how was it did I scare you? lol_**

**_Please let me know wha you think_**

**_-Ali_**


	11. Goodbye Letters

Elliot sat at her bedside, Cragen sat bedside him watching Olivia. She was so pale and thin you could break her in two with bare hands. Cragen looked around and regretted it everyone looked fearful no-one had faith. Cragen refused to look at Elliot but his eyes found him, Elliot sat still holding Olivia's fragile hand you could see the tear marks on his face he looked so broken. Cragen's eyes found peace on the white tiles of the hospital.

Elliot found himself in a world that was surrounded by nothing but pain! He wanted to shake her until she woke up, but he knew that it wasn't going to happen, he released her cold hand from his grasp and stood, he shook his head and walked out. Nicolett was behind him. "Don't follow me!" Elliot barked and ran down the corridor and into the waiting elevator. Elliot fought a losing battle with the elevator door. The door opened and there stood Olivia's little brother his eyes filled with tears. "Hey" Elliot managed; walking out the elevator Simon didn't respond he just entered the elevator. Elliot felt more horrible than he ever felt in his life; he walked home trying to clear his mind, but how could he? Every time he closed his eyes he saw her face that look in her eyes when he told her those horrible things. His apartment felt empty, he walked to the kitchen and found the pack of beer he had bought, Elliot sat in the family room and picked up the stack of letter he did a double-take when he realized one was from Olivia, Elliot ripped it open and began

_Dear Elliot,  
You were my best friend, my confidant and my partner. It's really funny I never thought our partner ship would have ended this way. I actually thought it would last until we were too old to work anymore. Though I never told you before I love you, I really do and I will not pretend that the things you said to me were hurtful they cut me so deep that I find it impossible to breathe. You were the greatest friend one could wish and also the best lover I ever knew. I do hope that the young lady treats you exceptionally well and may all you dreams come true though mine are dead. I wanted to love you the way no one else could, I wanted you to be the father of my children. But I guess it wasn't meant to be and nothing last forever though I thought we would after nine years.  
Wow you were right you are the longest relationship I had with a man. Not even my brother SAM, and I haven't known each other that long. Well I'm writing to say good bye sorry I slapped you.  
Good Bye Elliot I loved you, my heart and love will be with you always.  
-Liv_

The tears were flowing and he felt like jumping off the highest building so that the pain would end.

Cragen was behind his desk all hope was lost, he couldn't stand to watch her suffer he had found his way to the office and drown himself inpaper work, but he felt responsible for it all wasn't he the one who asked her to go. There was a letter on the desk, he thought he was going to have a heart attack when he realized the sender, he ripped it over and began to read.  
_Dear Captain,  
I don't think I can stay there anymore.  
_Cragen eyes were filled with tear and he almost cursed when the phone rang. "Hello!" he barked into the receiver not caring who it was. "Yes, are you serious?" he asked in disbelief!

**_Thank you so very, for the reviews! I hope u like this chapter._**

**_AN: I'll be away for awhile school starts Wednesday. I will update asap. Thanks again for reading and I hope u enjoyed._**

**_Ali_**


	12. Hope

_I know, I know Iknow. I took way too long to update I'm sorry, my internet has been done for a long time and it's still not up yet. I hope the problem is sorted out fast. Till then, hoping you enjoy this chapter, happy reading_

_-Ali_

_You have to believe! It has to be true!_ Cragen thought as he dashed through the doors and headed for Olivia's room. His eyes filled with tears he was hopeless to stop as he saw her lying there and the machines playing a beautiful music around her. She was going to make it!

"What happened?" Cragen asked as he blocked the path of the doctor who was leaving. The man looked up at her with sad eyes and a faint smile on his lips.

"We got a call from ADA Cabot who said she'll deal with the paper" the man said. Cragen sighed and blinked back the tears. 'Alex' was his only thought as he walked in and sat beside Olivia who was still as pale as the walls around yet there was more hope, she would be okay. His hands shook as he picked up the phone to call Elliot and his eyes filled with tears again as he placed the phone in his pocket once again.

Cragen looked up as he heard the soft sounds of heels clicking on the tiles. "Why didn't you call me?" she asked and threw herself into Cragen's arms and she was home.

"I couldn't call you the number I had for you is bogus" Cragen explained as he offered his chair to her. She sighed and told the tale of Witness Protection hers eyes filled with tears as she looked at Olivia.

"I had to leave; I can't live like that anymore. When I got the email I decided that I couldn't I had to come_ home _so I called and told them to treat her, if when she comes back to us she wants to kill me I would rather have it that way" Alex said picking up Olivia's hand.

When everything else fails have hope, trust in God. Elliot looked at the darkness surrounding his apartment, yea this was life with out Liv, he thought grimly as he swallowed the last of his beer. His phone was ringing but he was scared to answer, he didn't want to hear it. There was a knock on his door, but he didn't move he didn't want to hear it! The knocking got louder and finally the door swung open and before him stood Alexander Cabot, Captain and Simon. Elliot legs couldn't support his body weight and he dropped to his knees and a pain so strong crippled him causing his to rock, and sob with pain. This wasn't happening! It's a mistake she's still alive! He thought as he heard concerned voices and strong arms pulling him up. And a sound so raw torn from his heart as he cried for "No this is a mistake, Liv's alive" he cried.

"Elliot snap out of it!" Cragen demanded but he couldn't stop, why weren't they crying? Did they come to blame me? He thought.

"Olivia's alive Elliot I got the DNR lifted" Alex spoke.

Those words became his life as he looked up and saw their smiling face. "She okay?" he asked and watched grown people smile and cry with joy.


	13. Fight

She was still unconscious but now there was more hope. And he prayed a silent prayer to God for her. He paced the room, he wanted her awake.

The Sunday evening was boring as the detectives all drew near her bedside just to watch her sleep. The week ran off fast and still her condition hadn't seem to be improving she was still unconscious and her small frame seemed to be sinking into the bed. It seemed to be hurting more than healing to watch her like that. But what could they do? The answer was nothing. The doctors were in and out checking temperature and blood pressure which they said was on the low side. The machine that monitored her heart it looked as though it was going to run into a thin line and pronounce her dead then pick up it agonizingly slow rate. It was torture, and as they leaned to kiss her cheek to leave again no-one saying a word he was felt all alone with her once more.

Elliot leaned back in the chair it had been his bed for the past week and it was getting anymore comfortable, but he could live with that. Once she woke up.

A loud sound penetrated the abnormally silent room and Elliot found he was standing on his feet and watching a thin line which showed her heart rate. There where people rushing in ushering her out, they were arguing and soon they drew the screen and shut him out!

This was too much, he couldn't bear this anymore. He walked away, he knew when they came out she would be dead and he didn't want to hear it, so he felt.

Clear! 1, 2, 3 Clear!

"She's coming back, mask!"

The words floated around in her head and she tried to open heavy eyelids, she groaned with pain and a searing pain in her chest, she felt as though a truck ran her over and fought to open her eyes. There was a light shining into her face people gathered round and moving so fast they were making her dizzy. She coughed as she felt too much air forcing into her lung. Stop! A man in white commanded and the people froze. "Miss Benson can you hear me?" the man asked leaning over her. Her eyes were closing again and she was fighting like hell to keep them open. "Her blood pressure is decreasing rapidly I need 20 cc…" the voices were trailing off and she was fighting like hell to keep her eyes open. She fought like hell and soon she opened her eyes again to the chaos she had just witnessed. The man asked her the question again and she nodded, because her mouth was too dry to utter a word.

15 Minutes later.

"Welcome back Miss Benson do you know where you are?" the same man with brown hair and green eyes asked, he looked cute she conceded and tried to speak.

"No, where am I?" the words sound foreign and if the odor she smiled came from her mouth it seems a tooth-brush has been stranger to her mouth.

"You are in the hospital, you were shot…"

Hospital! Shot! Oh no Elliot!

She sucked in too much air and realized she was struggling to breathe, but that didn't stop her from trying to speak.

"Is Elliot… my partner… alright?" she managed to get out at last.

"Yes, you need to stop talking," her eyes were closing again but this time she couldn't fight it, and she went willingly to the darkness.

The group of detectives, and friends from the precinct was delirious with happiness, Olivia was back and they stood watching her as her eyes fluttered open.

"Olivia!" it was Cragen voice she heard as she opened her eyes to smiling faces.

"Oh Liv you gave us quite a scare, can you hear me?" he asked when she only looked at them.

"Yes," her voice was low but it was all they needed she was alive! Though her eyes looked distant and she watched all her friends, they were all there except one.

They kissed her and bade her goodbye and left only one person Alex Cabot.

"Hey" she said her voice tight with emotion and Olivia could she the glistening of tears in her eyes.

"Hey Alex, I missed you" Olivia said with tears brimming in her own eyes.

"Aw don't cry if you do they are going to put you to sleep, you need you rest" Alex told her.

"Where is he Alex?" she asked her eyes filled with pain at knowing she had failed.

"I'm not sure, we tried to track him down when you woke up but we had no luck" she replied gripping Olivia's hand.

"He's alive?" she asked not able to hide to joy that laced her words.

"Of course he is, that's why you are…" Alex trailed off, not wanting to remind her of the hell she just went through.

"Then where is he?" she asked her voice now filled with pain, he didn't even come to see me. He used me! Was her final thought before she closed her eyes.


End file.
